The Insidious Poison of Disengagement in Your Relationship

When one partner in the relationship begins to disengage…. this is the warning sign of impending doom. Beyond the worst argument, the most hurtful betrayal, the cruelest words — disengagement is death knell for any relationship.

Disengagement is simply the loss of willingness to invest time, energy, and emotion into the relationship. It is flat-lining, going belly up without caring enough to put up a fight, much less to put in the work needed to keep the relationship alive and thriving. Of not caring. Of letting the connection go. Of not being willing to devote time and effort to the relationship.

When the people we love or with whom we have a deep connection stop caring, stop paying attention, stop investing and fighting for the relationship, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in. Disengagement triggers shame and our greatest fears—the fears of being abandoned, unworthy, and unlovable. What can make this covert betrayal so much more dangerous than something like a lie or an affair is that we can’t point to the source of our pain—there’s no event, no obvious evidence of brokenness.

You are bound but unraveling at the same time. It only takes one person to disengage for the poison to spread and infect the relationship. Eventually the person trying to engage and seeking engagement from the other will give up. Sometimes this is exactly what the disengager wants. They are passively trying to end the relationship. Other times they are blind to the havoc they are creating and only wake up when their loved gives them a wake-up call or walks away.

Full article: http://liveboldandbloom.com/02/relationships/the-insidious-poison-of-disengagement-in-your-relationships

Longing

I long for the way he looks at me and tells me he loves me.

I long for that text message on my phone that says he’s thinking of all the” naughty” things we can do when he gets home. I’d spend the rest of the day daydreaming about that night.

I long to feel his fingers tangled in my hair.

I long for the way his hands run over my skin as we misbehave.

I long for a few simple words that can cause me to shudder deep inside.

I long to look into his eyes and see that same desire looking back at me.

Absence

You may be out of my sight but you aren’t out of my mind.

I miss you.

The Forever Wait

The forever wait is finally coming to an end.

My silly girl heart will soar as I wait for my flight to close the distance between you and me. I’ll smile at everyone around me as I impatiently wait for the announcement that my flight is boarding.
 
(It’s been so long since these arms held. Since these knees got weak.)

Then, somewhere around halfway, I’ll start to savour the giddiness I feel as I inch closer to you … knowing that you are there, waiting for me, with those arms open wide. Just for me.

In Your Arms

I can’t wait to lie next to you at night and fall asleep in your arms… it’s where I belong.

After almost an entire year apart, tomorrow night, in your arms is exactly where I’ll be.

Dragon Slayer

My prince, you’ve disappeared into the wilds of northern Canada and I’m here in my little East Coast kingdom. I know you’re out there dragon slaying and this princess is tending to her own little kingdom. But it just would be nice to have my prince stop by for a drink and say “good going, woman” … take me in your arms for a hug and enjoy being alive and in the same place.

Not so … you’re slaying a really big, big dragon – one that breathes fire and black smoke and whose breath smells, oddly enough, like roofing tar. I’ll let you alone to enjoy the carnage. I know when I have left my little kingdom behind and am carried to yours on silver wings, we’ll live that happily ever after story (with maybe some ogre’s thrown in just to keep it exciting).

Right Now

Right now, I feel good.

I feel good knowing that in 7 days I’ll be with you. I feel good knowing that I’ll finally get to see you each and everyday.

I’ve hated the feeling of missing you over the past few months. Every day without you has been a struggle, but thinking and dreaming of you fills me with a wonderful feeling. My intense love for you, and your love for me, tells me that the best is still ahead. And the future with you is what I live for.