The past year has been really rough on our marriage, I honestly didn’t think we’d make it to #8. But we did, we made it past the seven-year itch.
♥
I’m Still Here
I’m still healing from heartbreak but I have chosen to stay. There is strength in staying, in living in the uncomfortable space that is all around me. I have chosen to stay and show up for myself instead of chasing the next thrill of adventure to numb the pain of heartbreak. I have chosen to find strength in patience. It still hurts, I’m still uncomfortable, I’m slowly accepting things for what they are instead of letting go.
I’m still raw, but I’m also still here.
♡
Sometimes
Sometimes I think about when we used to talk. We’d talk about dreams and fears and how real change could happen with a little time. But now more than a little time has gone by and now we don’t talk anymore. I try to remember all the things I wanted then. And all the things I want now and what’s different and what’s the same. I sometimes miss that dreaming we would do when we still talking. Before the avalanche came down and everything changed. When I believed in you and thought you believed in me.
Because even if things were wrong then and I knew about it, I didn’t yet know the full extent. I couldn’t possibly have. And even if I was without that knowledge, ignorant me was happy with the dreaming. She was happy with the talking. Sometimes those are the things we’re willing to trade. Talking instead of silence. Dysfunction instead of truth. Dreaming instead of leaving. A happy me for a happier you.
You can’t pick and choose the things you want in a person, but if I could, I’d pick the you who would let me rest my head on his chest and tell me the things he wanted to do.
♡
Oh Happy Day!!!
Today I heard some news that made me want to jump with joy… they are having a baby.
My heart feels light for a change. The weight of the stress has been lifted and I can breathe a sigh of relief.
It will never be the same as it once was – I was hurt too deeply. I am so ready to move on from this maelstrom you’ve caused me over the past couple of years.
Can’t Let Love Go
I wish I could stop playing through scenarios of what could have been and where it all went wrong. I wish I could just move on. I wish I could just let go of you, of us.
But, in this moment, wishing for things is all there is, because reality is that in this space is where I am, I still love you.
I still wonder what made you give up, and I still resent fear for digging its claws in you and us.
💔
When You Fall In Love
When I was in university my psychology professor said:
“When you fall in love with someone you aren’t interested in anyone else. If you are, you aren’t in love.”
I think everyone needs to hear that.
Suspicious
I hate being suspicious about things, but damn that gut feeling is always right.
💔
Game of Love
Looks like I won “the I love you more” game.
One I would have gladly given anything to lose.
💔
Simple Love
I miss when love felt simple. When love was without thought and without worry. I miss when love felt as natural and as easy as breathing, when everything we did and everything we said was out of love.
I miss when love was not a list of reasons why I should stay and why I should go, neither of them winning, neither of them making sense. I miss when love was not tangled up in resentment and hurt, and anger.
I miss when you were the answer to every question, not the one creating them. I miss when love was not a game of secrets when I had to play detective to uncover your latest crime. I miss when you told me things before I discovered them, I miss when there was never anything to discover in the first place. I miss when your phone did not feel like a loaded weapon, when it did not feel like something which would go off and rip my entire world apart. I miss when female names did not feel like stab wounds to my chest. I miss when I was not convinced you wanted to fuck her. I miss calmness inside my body instead of this twisting, sickening feeling like I’m hurtling towards the ground.
I miss when love felt simple. When love was exactly what I had spent my whole life knowing it to be. I miss when love was just happiness and contentment when our love was the definition of the word. I miss when I knew that what I felt and what we shared was love. It was easier that way, certain, concrete. Love meant you and me forever, for always.
But now, I’m not sure what love is, I’m not even sure it lives with us anymore. I miss when love was not tears and silent treatment. When love was not locking myself in the bathroom and sobbing so much my chest felt as if it might collapse. I miss when love was not this, not hurtful, not pain. I miss when love felt like love, like flying, like freedom. I miss when love did not feel like a knife carving away at me, taking pieces of me, making me come apart.
I miss when love felt simple.
💔
How Could You
I took it personal because I wouldn’t have done it to you. Never.
💔
I Wish I Could
I gave it all and you gave me shit
I wish I could do exactly what you did
I wish I could do exactly what you did
I wish I could hurt you back
Love, what would you do if you couldn’t get me back
You’re the one who’s gonna lose
Something so special, something so real
Tell me boy, how in the fuck would you feel?
If you couldn’t get me back
That’s what I wish that I could do to you
Love, what would you do if you couldn’t get me back
You’re the one who’s gonna lose
Something so special, something so real
Tell me boy, how in the fuck would you feel?
If you couldn’t get me back
That’s what I wish that I could do to you
💔
Together
Love is choosing to serve someone and be with someone in spite of their filthy heart. Love is patient and kind, love is deliberate. Love is hard. Love is pain and sacrifice, it’s seeing the darkness in another person and defying the impulse to jump ship.
❤
Side by Side
It makes me happy just being by your side.
♥
Happy New Year My Love
“It’s a new dawn a new day and I’m feeling good” – Michael Bublé
Can’t wait to see what this year has in store for us.
♥
Vacation Time
Today is the start of 18 days in paradise with you. Looking forward to going places neither of us have been before and exploring 2 new countries with you. What an adventure!
♥
Together
When we get to the end of our lives together, the house we had, the cars we drove, the things we owned, none of that will matter. What will matter is, I had you and you had me.
♥
Cheesy Love
And because you’re awesome just like me.
♥
Love of My Life
I only want to be with you two times…
Now and forever.
♡
Hearts
I was drawn to you the moment we met. I believe we knew each other in a previous life. Sounds crazy eh.
♥
Happy 6th Anniversary
Time is much sweeter when I spend it with you.
♥
Detached
My brain cells are swimming in murky, uneventful, unfulfilled-infested waters. I am in need of some cerebral adrenaline rush. Where we were seems to have been buried so deep into the soil that I almost don’t remember how it was. I feel we are unconnected. I stay mostly quiet now. There’s nothing much to say. Except, observe. I wish I could be as detached as you are. The past few months don’t seem to have rattled you at all. But that has always been our difference.
We need this vacation next month to recharge and reconnect as a couple. With no distractions. Just becoming close again.
♥
Reason
So happy you are in my life.
♥
Let’s Talk
The conversation between your fingers and my skin is the most important discussion you can ever have.
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Sticky Love
Like hydrogen and oxygen we stick together because we both know that there is chemistry when we are together.
♥
Kiss Me
You have lips. I have lips. Interesting….
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Celebrate Love
You are an apple and I am an orange. Together we make a fruit salad. Love is not about being the same; it’s about being sweet with each other and celebrating the difference.
♥
I Love You Because
I love you because every cell of my body responds to your touch, to your look, to the way you move and the way you sound. I love you because something, somewhere, directed me to you. Through the paths we have taken to one another, I have loved you. I’ve played in comfortable places among comfortable people until I had no choice but to leave there to come to you here.
♥
Happy Anniversary
Five years ago today, we became husband and wife. We knew we belonged together. And now, half a decade later, I can say with absolute certainty that the past five years have been the best of my entire life. I don’t tell you this as often as I should, but I love being your wife. In fact, I’m proud to be your wife. You would do anything for me. You put up with me and my shenanigans, day in and day out. And for that, you deserve more than a blog post, you deserve a trophy. Thank you for remaining endlessly patient with me. That might be your best quality. Cheers to the second half of this decade, and many, many more to come. I love you, B. Always have always will.
♥
Magical Love
It’s not my love for you that makes you special. It’s the magical feeling that I get while talking to you or while being together with you.
♥
Knowing
We are forever and we make it work no matter what happens.
♥
Every Time
Every time I close my eyes to go to sleep I pick out my favourite memory of us.
♥
Happy New Year Husband
Let’s burst into the New Year together! Jump with both feet, holding hands — like we’ve done since I met you. Happy New Year to my exciting partner in crime!
♥
Together Time
It’s always nice spending time just the two of us, and reminding myself for the 8 gajillionth time that you really are my best friend, and my favorite person to hang out with.
♥
Just the Two of Us
Although I feel like our marriage is in great shape, it’s easy to get lost in routine. I am thankful we have the opportunity to get away together this weekend. Sometimes we spend so much time caught up in the everyday that it’s important to be reminded how much fun we have together.
♥
Online Love
Isn’t it so freaking amazing that we found each other!?! Well, you found me, but in this world of 7, 205,350,220 people on record apparently (I Googled it), we found each other.
I floated around in cyberspace as you did, and we lived for more than four years floating around in the real world, and then suddenly, just like that, click. You found me and my universe changed. Irrevocably.
Nothing was ever the same after that.
I love you.
♥
Journey of Life
Our relationship is like the Journey of Life itself. Every glitch and hitch only makes us stronger and more resilient.
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Beautiful Life
There is hardly anything to do without you, but with you… my life is so much more beautiful.
♥
Spread Love
You have infected me. My body and my soul. Every second of every day is spent dreaming of my time with you. The times we have had, the times we’re having and the times we will have. You are truly the center of my universe. I love you more deeply than words can express.
♥
Time Goes By
Over all the years we have grown together and love each other more than ever before. How cool is that!
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Extraordinary
I knew marriage to you would bring me happiness, but I could never have imagined the joy I would experience doing life with you day after day.
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Cherish the Love
It’s been a long week and for you it isn’t over yet. Two days off out of 10 is keeping me from you far too much. I love you so very much. I love every second that we spend together and, although I’d love if we didn’t have as much time apart as we sometimes do, I cherish the time we do have. All of the time I spend with you will never be enough.
♥
Forever
You will forever be my always.
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Things we Should Do Together
Oh wait – we already do these things. 🙂
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Every Day
Every day we are together is the greatest day of my life.
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Love Story
I want our love story to read… he was searching for her and she was searching for him. They met by luck and they almost passed each other by but with that first look they sealed their hearts forever.
♥
It’s a Wonderful Life
I’m so proud of us; our friendship, the kindness we share between us, and the small sacrifices we make for one another that secretly mean the world to us. I’m so happy to have found you, to be privileged to share this life with you.
♥
Differences
The things we have in common will keep us together. But the difference between you and I – that’s what makes life fun.
♥
Together
Out of all the moments in my life… the ones I’ve spent with you are my favourite.
♥
Live Love Dream
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