I wish I could stop playing through scenarios of what could have been and where it all went wrong. I wish I could just move on. I wish I could just let go of you, of us.
But, in this moment, wishing for things is all there is, because reality is that in this space is where I am, I still love you.
I still wonder what made you give up, and I still resent fear for digging its claws in you and us.
💔
I miss when love felt simple. When love was without thought and without worry. I miss when love felt as natural and as easy as breathing, when everything we did and everything we said was out of love.
I miss when love was not a list of reasons why I should stay and why I should go, neither of them winning, neither of them making sense. I miss when love was not tangled up in resentment and hurt, and anger.
I miss when you were the answer to every question, not the one creating them. I miss when love was not a game of secrets when I had to play detective to uncover your latest crime. I miss when you told me things before I discovered them, I miss when there was never anything to discover in the first place. I miss when your phone did not feel like a loaded weapon, when it did not feel like something which would go off and rip my entire world apart. I miss when female names did not feel like stab wounds to my chest. I miss when I was not convinced you wanted to fuck her. I miss calmness inside my body instead of this twisting, sickening feeling like I’m hurtling towards the ground.
I miss when love felt simple. When love was exactly what I had spent my whole life knowing it to be. I miss when love was just happiness and contentment when our love was the definition of the word. I miss when I knew that what I felt and what we shared was love. It was easier that way, certain, concrete. Love meant you and me forever, for always.
But now, I’m not sure what love is, I’m not even sure it lives with us anymore. I miss when love was not tears and silent treatment. When love was not locking myself in the bathroom and sobbing so much my chest felt as if it might collapse. I miss when love was not this, not hurtful, not pain. I miss when love felt like love, like flying, like freedom. I miss when love did not feel like a knife carving away at me, taking pieces of me, making me come apart.
I miss when love felt simple.
💔
You forgot your cell phone at home today. I’m going to miss the random texts from you.
♥
Missing someone isn’t about how long since you’ve seen them or the amount of time since you last talked. It’s about that very moment when you find yourself doing something and wishing they were right there by your side.
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I want to love you more than forever because even eternity is not enough time for me to express my love for you.
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I’m at work but all I can think about is being home, sleeping soundly next to you.
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My perfect definition of love is you.
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I just want to inform you that someone somewhere is missing you a lot. And that someone is me. I hate it when you work days and I work nights. Three and a half days is too long to go without kissing you.
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When you’re not around I feel gloomy. If I don’t see your face, I don’t feel good. If I don’t hear your voice, I feel something is incomplete.
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I know I’ll see you tonight at home but I just can’t help missing you the entire day.
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Sitting next to you doing absolutely nothing means absolutely everything to me. I’ve missed that the past three nights.
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I feel happy when we are together… and empty when we are not. I miss you incredibly when we’re apart, no matter what length of time that is.
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I am missing you even if we’ve just seen each other. I am wanting to hug you more even when I’ve just held you. I am wanting to give you kisses even when we’ve had hundreds. I love you even more than what I am capable of.
You make every second that passes by worthwhile. Tomorrows do not seem so dreary anymore because you make me look forward to being loved more. You make me secure in such sense that I do not need to worry about who I was or what I’ve done in my past. You make me a whole person because you’ve accepted my imperfections and made them seem so irrelevant. You’re more than who I asked for.
Simply because…
You lead me back to a place where my heart is secure knowing that you’re the person I can love endlessly. And vice versa.
♥
“I’m here without you, baby, but you’re still on my lonely mind”
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I just want you to want me like you used to. Remember those days when you’d put your hands down my pants? You’d press yourself up against me. You’d grab my hand and put it on your hardness. You’d whip your towel off as soon as you got out of the shower. You wanted me to want you.
You wanted me. Me.
Now it seems absurd.
A distant memory.
A sad memory.
I love you.
♥
Seems we just see each other in passing lately … and when we are together it’s nothing more than quick moments.
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My legs are missing you in between them.
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I’m feeling sad today. Missing you. When this is all over I’m going to need some serious romance, and let’s face it, it’s been a while since you’ve really wooed me.
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… to get my mouth on you.
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As you slowly bend me over and kiss down my back you can feel me start to tremble and twitch, it’s because I know what’s coming next. Soon you’ll deep inside me, nailing away with each thrust harder than the last…
♥
Oh, I’m such a selfish girl. All I want is your cock. I think selfish girls deserve a spanking wouldn’t you agree?
♥
I love the way your hard cock rubs against the soft pink lips of my tight little pussy, makes me so wet… especially when you enter me slowly, thrusting the head in and out just a bit, teasing me… can’t wait till these night shifts are over and I have you to myself again.
♥
And kissing you good night.
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Let me explain how I’m feeling in the fewest possible words… I want you inside me, then sleeping beside me.
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Just sitting here. Waiting for you to text me. ‘Cause it lights up my work day.
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I’m only lonely when you’re not around.
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I want to be in your arms, where you’ll hold me tight and never let go.
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I want you to look at me like I have something other girls don’t.
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I’ve played it your way… on your terms. Unsure what you’ve been doing but following your lead. My heart open, patiently waiting for you to regain focus, waiting for you to move your eyes away from that little screen and back to us.
I’ve played it your way… on your terms. But my dreams remind me constantly. My body and mind aching for what has been denied me for 2+ years.
I’ve played it your way long enough… now it’s my turn. I’ve had two years of craving. My patience is dwindling. What I hunger for is not just a want, it is an essential necessity. It’s an indescribable need.
I’ve played it your way long enough… now it’s my turn. No longer should you deny us of something that brought us both such extreme pleasure. Force yourself inside me. I want to feel your fingers on my lips. Your hands around my throat making me quiver with desire and anticipation of what’s to come. That sting against my flesh. My body weak from indulging you. Me, crawling back for more. Back arched, head down…
Let OUR game begin.
♥
Time passes so slowly when you’re not here with me.
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I woke up wanting to kiss you.
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When I am apart from you it feels as though my heart has a string tied around it. And you hold the other end. My heart feels like it is being pulled towards you.
♥
When I’m feeling lonely for you I look at the spaces between my fingers and remember that’s where yours fit perfectly.
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Your arms. The warmth of your body pressed against mine.
I wish I could have that right now.
♥
I wait for you…
I admit I’ve been day dreaming, thoughts of you raging inside.
How long am I to wait?
♥
I long for the way he looks at me and tells me he loves me.
I long for that text message on my phone that says he’s thinking of all the” naughty” things we can do when he gets home. I’d spend the rest of the day daydreaming about that night.
I long to feel his fingers tangled in my hair.
I long for the way his hands run over my skin as we misbehave.
I long for a few simple words that can cause me to shudder deep inside.
I long to look into his eyes and see that same desire looking back at me.
♥
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I’m missing you right now. Wish you were still in bed with me instead of just starting your day at work.
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You may be out of my sight but you aren’t out of my mind.
I miss you.
♥
How I hate the night shift. The bed seems so big when your not there. I lay awake tossing and searching for your body, coming up with only a pillow.
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Your body is spectacular. How it feels in my hands, near my face, on my lips. When you leave for work, I can’t stop thinking of when I’ll get to touch you again.
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You’re not here. These walls feel too close and this house seems too empty. Everything feels wrong.
Later I will listen for your car door, your keys, your feet on the mat. I’ll pace the floor, hoping that every approaching car is yours, coming to take me in your arms and tell me that you’ve come home.Â
♥
The forever wait is finally coming to an end.
My silly girl heart will soar as I wait for my flight to close the distance between you and me. I’ll smile at everyone around me as I impatiently wait for the announcement that my flight is boarding.
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(It’s been so long since these arms held. Since these knees got weak.)
Then, somewhere around halfway, I’ll start to savour the giddiness I feel as I inch closer to you … knowing that you are there, waiting for me, with those arms open wide. Just for me.
♥
I can’t wait to lie next to you at night and fall asleep in your arms… it’s where I belong.
After almost an entire year apart, tomorrow night, in your arms is exactly where I’ll be.
♥
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This week has been a good week, stressful but good. I am busy packing for the move. My life is one huge buzz of activity. If I am not the go then my brain is and unfortunately at this moment … my brain is not being agreeable for the tasks at hand.
I’ve had too many moments missing being with a certain someone. The thing is, I just don’t like missing. I’ve never missed anyone besides you and am surprised to find that I have become so sentimental. This flutter of emotion is bewildering and now I have a headache.
 Thank you, sir, for being my headache. I miss you.
♥
I’m watching people, the days and life pass. I see couples and kids and dogs and bikes and summertime things that make me happy.
But each passing moment has me missing you more. It seems like forever since I’ve seen you. The “we” stuff is sitting on the stove … should I be doing something with it? Should I stir it? Should I add some salt and pepper? Maybe so because last night I had a spicy dream about you. No one seems to add flavour to my day, or night, like you. Your presence, whether in real time or dreamtime, puts me in another space.Â
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You are always on my mind. Not just because I love you but because everyday things remind me of you. Simple things. Silly things. Everything.
Like every time I eat Cookies n Cream ice cream… I think of you. When I have a cookie I think of you… I think about you licking the creamy insides with your tongue, one side at a time and raking the creamy filling off with your teeth, allowing it to dissolve in your mouth, filling your mouth with a sweet, pleasant sensation.
 Mmmm …Â
♥
My prince, you’ve disappeared into the wilds of northern Canada and I’m here in my little East Coast kingdom. I know you’re out there dragon slaying and this princess is tending to her own little kingdom. But it just would be nice to have my prince stop by for a drink and say “good going, woman” … take me in your arms for a hug and enjoy being alive and in the same place.
Not so … you’re slaying a really big, big dragon – one that breathes fire and black smoke and whose breath smells, oddly enough, like roofing tar. I’ll let you alone to enjoy the carnage. I know when I have left my little kingdom behind and am carried to yours on silver wings, we’ll live that happily ever after story (with maybe some ogre’s thrown in just to keep it exciting).
♥
Live Love Dream 