Has Your Flirt-Texting Turned Into Cheating?

affair-of-the-heart

Flirty texts and emails may never become physical, but that doesn’t mean you’re not having an affair. Messages that blur the line between teasing and intimacy, or that replace feelings you should be getting from your partner, can quickly violate relationship boundaries, even if you don’t recognize the situation as dangerous. So, when does simple flirt-texting become cheating?

 

  1. You Text in Secret

If you are deleting your flirty texts, you already consciously know that your partner would be upset if they read them. Put the boot on the other foot and ask how you would feel if you found this message on your other half’s phone? Suspicious? Uncomfortable? If you feel the need to delete the flirty texts then you shouldn’t have sent them the first place.

The simple fact is that people who cheat, lie. If you’re covering your tracks so your partner can’t catch you in the act, you’re having an affair, whether sex is involved or not.

 

  1. Your Texts Are a Relationship Surrogate

If you’re sending flirty texts your friend and not to your partner, it’s time to ask yourself why. If your texting companion is feeding your ego in a way that partner doesn’t, beware. You’re using the flirtation to plug the holes in your relationship in a cheap and unsustainable way, rather than having the difficult conversations with your partner.

 

  1. Your cell phone is password locked and no one is allowed to use it or look at what’s on it.

Treating your cell phone like it’s something you cannot be separated from. If you always have to have your phone with you, even at home, and never let it out of your sight, that’s a warning sign.

 

4. You’re Rationalizing

Telling yourself “she’s just a friend” is a tacit admission that she isn’t. You’re playing the “technical” game here (technically, we are not intimate; technically, we do not date), when cheating is all about intent. Safe friendships need no such justification. Even if they did, wouldn’t a truly committed person forfeit their text-flirting out of respect for their relationship?

 

  1. It’s Deliberate

Having someone else tell you that you’re sexy, smart and funny can feed your ego. There are healthier ways to validate your self-esteem without undermining the years of trust you’ve established with your spouse or partner.

Establish healthy boundaries for your relationship. If you have the desire to flirt text for attention and to boost your ego, try sending a sexy text to them — you may just re-ignite a fire in your relationship.

 

  1. You Have Lax Boundaries

Text flirting makes you feel young, attractive and noticed. When the world is out to get you, flirting can boost your fragile ego and put you back on your A-game. In the workplace, professional flirting can be a dangerous game.

Some people are compulsive flirters who constantly seek the attention of others in order to feel good about themselves. If you have a deep-seated need to flirt, stop texting now. The truth is, many behavioral-flirters have lax boundaries. What begins innocently enough is pushed and forced to its bitter conclusion — possibly a fully-fledged affair — because you simply can’t help yourself. Better to remove the temptation before you cause incurable damage.

 

7. Sexually suggestive content

If the communications consist of sexual overtones, whether subtle or overt, that’s a sure sign as any that it has translated into an affair.  You’ve crossed the line.

 

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/

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