Forgiveness

Open safety pin and red deflated ballon on yellow background

Loving someone is about letting go of what happened in the past, and living fully in today. Forgiving each other for what you said or didn’t say, for old wounds and mindless mistakes. Because you know that clinging on will only add fuel to rage and fury – neither of which belong in a space of love.

It’s Hard To Forgive

Forgiven

Forgiveness isn’t easy. Losing someone’s trust can take as little as half a second, but gaining it back takes time. Forgiving is a lengthy process. No matter how bad you want the whole thing to be over and for everything to go back to normal, it won’t for a while. You’ll always find the thought, the memory, hidden in your mind in the most obvious place, waiting for the right time to remind you that your heart is broken and that your attempt at a smile doesn’t hide it well enough. It’s hard to forgive someone you gave everything to because you know they’ll treat it with recklessness. They’ve done it before.

Moving On

Moving On

You can’t start the next chapter of life if you keep re-reading the last one.

 

I Lived to Tell the Tale

Awesome

Sweet child, all your worst fears were realized, and yet you lived through it, lived to tell the tale, now with drier eyes and a steady voice

How can you not see that as a superpower, as proof of your divine strength?

 

You Broke Me

You Broke Me

I am now the girl with an imperfectly mended heart. I am now the girl who is not as broken anymore. I am now the girl who knows what forgiveness is. I am now the girl who forgives you.

Forgive

Forgiveness

Forgive anyone who has caused you pain or harm. Keep in mind that forgiveness is not for others. It is for you.

Forgiving is not forgetting. It is remembering without anger. It frees up your power, heals your body, mind, and spirit.

Forgiveness opens up a pathway to a new place of peace where you can persit despite what has happened to you.

Keep Going

Keep GoingNo matter how stuck you feel.

No matter how bad things are right now.

No matter how many days you’ve spent crying.

No matter how hopeless and depressed you feel.

No matter how many days you’ve spent wishing things were different.

I promise you won’t feel this way forever.

Keep going.

 

 

I Found Inner Strength

Being Strong

Being strong is love someone in silence. To radiate happiness when we are unhappy. To forgive someone who does not deserve forgiveness. To stay calm in moments of despair. To show joy when we don’t feel it. To smile when you want to cry. To make someone happy when our own heart is broken. To be silent when we feel like screaming our anguish. To comfort when we need to be comforted. And to have faith when sometimes we no longer believe.

Love Is… Sticking Together

Love is...

I want us to last. I didn’t want a few amazing years and then for it to be over in a flash.

I don’t want to experience the feeling of hurt, confusion, or disappointment again.

No matter what we run into and no matter how hard things get, I want us to stick together.

 

 

Just Breathe

Just Breathe

I know I’ll be okay and that eventually everything will work out. I know that what’s meant for me will happen, I know …. But I just need a minute or two to pull myself together … Because sometimes the shit life throws at me gets heavy. That’s all…

💔

I Forgive You

I Forgive You

I forgive you, I really do. I am releasing this into the universe, surrendering it all because carrying this heaviness and hurt is a poison that is slowly killing me. I’m making the choice to forgive you because I need peace in my heart.

I forgive you for not loving me the way I wanted you to, the way you told me you would in the beginning. I forgive you for not being the man I thought you were, the man you pretended to be. I forgive you for hurting me. I forgive you for not wanting me the way I wanted you. I forgive you for all these feelings of unworthiness you brought to my doorstep and left for me to clean up. (It’s going to take a long time to clean up this mess.)

I forgive you breaking my tender heart and making me feel like nothing special. I forgive you for the tears I cried, for this empty feeling in my heart. I forgive you for not being man enough to talk to me and tell me how you felt.  I forgive you for not thinking enough of me or our time together to tell me the truth.

As hard as it is, I forgive you for it all.

Forgive

Forgive

It took me a long time to understand what it means to forgive someone.

I always wondered how I could forgive someone who chose to hurt me. But after a lot of soul searching, I realized that forgiveness isn’t about accepting or excusing their behaviour…. it’s about letting it go and preventing their behaviour from destroying me heart.

Revenge

Revenge

The best revenge is no revenge. Move on, be happy.

Silence

Marry someone who will sit down with you and say “let’s fix this” instead of being a child and ignoring you because they’re mad.

 

I’m Still Here

Strength

I’m still healing from heartbreak but I have chosen to stay. There is strength in staying, in living in the uncomfortable space that is all around me. I have chosen to stay and show up for myself instead of chasing the next thrill of adventure to numb the pain of heartbreak. I have chosen to find strength in patience. It still hurts, I’m still uncomfortable, I’m slowly accepting things for what they are instead of letting go.

I’m still raw, but I’m also still here.

Relationships Aren’t Easy

Relationships ARen't Easy

If you want to be with someone, you have to be mature enough to stick around when things get tough. Relationships aren’t always easy.

Tiny Little Pieces

 

Tiny Little Pieces

You could break my heart into tiny little pieces and I’d still pick them up and put them back in your hand.

(Hard to find someone like that, right?)

💔

 

Sit & Think

Sit & Think

Have you ever just sat and thought, “Fuck, I’ve been through a lot of shit.”

Why I Stayed

Why I Stayed

I stayed because I know, that somewhere, underneath the anger and hatred I’m feeling at the moment, beneath that shield of bitterness and disappointments. I know, he’s still there. That man that I love and adore. The one who first made me believe that this is all worth fighting for. I have faith, that someday, he will eventually be revived. When he’s ready to continue this adventure that we started together. I know someday, his heart will be awakened and he’ll continue our journey to fight for our love that is worth fighting for. I have faith that someday, he’ll come back… I will hear him tell me those three words again. And I will believe him.

This is the reason why I stayed.

Sometimes

Sometimes

Sometimes I think about when we used to talk. We’d talk about dreams and fears and how real change could happen with a little time. But now more than a little time has gone by and now we don’t talk anymore. I try to remember all the things I wanted then. And all the things I want now and what’s different and what’s the same. I sometimes miss that dreaming we would do when we still talking. Before the avalanche came down and everything changed. When I believed in you and thought you believed in me.

Because even if things were wrong then and I knew about it, I didn’t yet know the full extent. I couldn’t possibly have. And even if I was without that knowledge, ignorant me was happy with the dreaming. She was happy with the talking. Sometimes those are the things we’re willing to trade. Talking instead of silence. Dysfunction instead of truth. Dreaming instead of leaving. A happy me for a happier you.

You can’t pick and choose the things you want in a person, but if I could, I’d pick the you who would let me rest my head on his chest and tell me the things he wanted to do.

Love Story

I wanted to live happily ever after. I wanted to cook breakfast with you in the mornings and fall asleep with you in the evenings. I wanted to see what you looked like with grey hair. I had so much more planned for us and I feel like our love story ended prematurely.

But maybe we can still do those things. Maybe our story hasn’t officially ended yet.

Oh Happy Day!!!

original_4c6760e7592561fe712335b913ced83c

Today I heard some news that made me want to jump with joy … they are having a baby. I think this is the beginning of the end of my heartache.

My heart feels light for a change. The weight of the stress has been lifted and I can breathe a sigh of relief.

I really hope we can get back on track together now. I really do. It will never be the same as it once was – I was hurt too deeply – but I am so ready to move on from this maelstrom you’ve caused me over the past couple of years.

Life’s looking up!

 

I Stopped Caring

I Stopped Caring

And finally I stopped caring. I stopped wondering what you were doing. I stopped wondering what you were saying. I just really don’t care anymore. And honestly, it’s quite freeing.

 

 

It Shatters You

It Shatteres You

And maybe it doesn’t make sense, maybe your gut is telling you otherwise, maybe your heart is aching and maybe you can’t stand losing it. You can’t let the world win. You just can’t let it go because it was everything you wanted and everything you wished for.

It shatters you. But because you want it so much, you want to make it right, you want to stand tall against the world and make it happen.

So you keep trying and you keep giving even if you’re getting nothing in return.

💔

Worthless

Worthless

I needed you and you weren’t there. I needed you and you made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. I needed you and you didn’t love me, oh you said you did but your actions told me a different story. I needed you and you acted like I didn’t exist. I needed you and you broke me.

💔

Destruction

Destruction

I watched you destroy everything we had and I didn’t say a word because… I still loved you.

💔

I’m Confused

Confusion

Why can’t you just tell me what you feel, because how you act is confusing me.

💔

Can’t Let Love Go

Let It Go

I wish I could stop playing through scenarios of what could have been and where it all went wrong. I wish I could just move on. I wish I could just let go of you, of us.

But, in this moment, wishing for things is all there is, because reality is that in this space is where I am, I still love you.

I still wonder what made you give up, and I still resent fear for digging its claws in you and us.

💔

Smile

smile

She’s the type of girl that can be so hurt but can still look at you and smile.

 

Sometimes

Sometimes

Sometimes, when I say I’m okay, I want you to look me in the eyes, hug me tight, and say, “I know you’re not.”

I Never Agreed to Share Your Heart

Love

I don’t want a relationship where I am suspicious of you. I don’t want to watch you flip your phone upside down when I enter the room and add a passcode just in case you leave it behind when you run to the bathroom. I don’t want to wonder who you are texting. I don’t want to be on the constant lookout for signs you are cheating.

I don’t want to deal with the baggage that comes with you cheating on me. I don’t want to feel disrespected by someone who is supposed to love me.

I would rather have you do the mature, adult thing and leave me before you come close to acting unfaithful. I would rather have you rip the Bandaid off right this second than continue to be with me while flirting with another behind my back.

I never signed up for an open relationship. I never agreed to share your heart. If you cannot give me every single sliver, then take the entire thing away. I would rather watch you leave than have you sit beside me wishing you were gone.

I should be enough for you. You should not be looking for comfort outside from me. You don’t get to be in a relationship on days off while acting single at work. You get to choose one or the other. You have to make a decision — and it should not be a difficult one.

Whether you leave me or cheat on me, you are going to hurt me, so you might as well do it in the most respectful way possible. You might as well handle my heart gently by telling me it is over.

I would rather have you leave me than cheat on me. I would rather have you break my heart the old fashioned way than pretend you care about me when you are already invested in someone else.

Voices In My Head

 

Voices in My Head

Even when I’ve learned to live with insecurities, I still am afraid that I may be losing you. I now wonder if I’m capable of meeting what you desire. Sometimes I wish I was a little different – skinniner, sexier, a gym freak – perhaps that would diminish the voices in my head. But no, I am me, not her.

Stars In Your Eyes

giphy

I saw stars in your eyes. But, they were twinkling for someone else’s sky.

💔

When You Fall In Love

When You Fall in Love

When I was in university my psychology professor said:

“When you fall in love with someone you aren’t interested in anyone else. If you are, you aren’t in love.”

I think everyone needs to hear that.

Worst Feeling Ever

Seeing someone slowly lose interest in you is probably one of the worst feelings ever.

💔

 

Under a Microscope

under a microscope

You were too busy finding faults in me while I was too busy overlooking yours.

💔

 

I’m Not Perfect

I'm Not Perfect

Keep in mind that you’re never going to find someone who is perfect or a perfect match. Because the truth is, you’re not perfect. And you never will be. And you know what? Neither is anyone else. You’re only going to find other flawed human beings who are going to do their best to love you. Try and accept and appreciate less than perfection. You’ll find it easier to find love that way.

 

Attention Seekers

Attention Seeker

… and I would rather have the heart of one man, over the attention of many.

💔

 

What Will Be, Will Be

What Will Be Will Be

I won’t ever tell you what you can and cannot do. I’ve signed up to be your partner, not your parent. If you want to put yourself in a position that can ruin what we have, then so be it.

What I will tell you is what I like and don’t like. This is where compromise and respect comes in.

Enough

Enough

Cheating, most of us have been there. You don’t ever see it coming because it’s the small things that build up over time that invite the toxicity into your life.

Shock, anger, rage, and sadness infiltrated my mind along with the usual dosages of self-doubt. Was I not pretty enough? Was I not smart enough? Where did I go wrong? What did she have that I didn’t have? What was I lacking that would make him want to stray…

ENOUGH.

Enough is enough. I sulked in that pity party for far too long when I decided to reach up and slap myself in the face. You are not a reflection of someone else’s decision to be unfaithful. Your self-worth is not bound to their confusion and lack of appreciation for you.

Life is 10 percent of what happens to you and 90 percent of how you react to it. Life is going to happen and heartbreak is inevitable. Use these seasons of hardship as the fuel you need to set ablaze the fire that will ignite you into a better future.

Suspicious

Suspicious

I hate being suspicious about things, but damn  that gut feeling is always right.

💔

What Do Your Actions Show

What do you want hand writing with a black mark on a transparent board

Never try to control him. Let him do what he wants so you can see what he’d rather do. His actions will show how much he respects you.

 

Disposable Love

Disposable Love

Love, despite living in Disposable Culture, will not dispose of a person for some far-off idealization of a perfect person.

💔

In the Silence

In the Silence

And in the silence I suddenly understood the many ways a person can die but still be alive.

💔

Phubbing

Phubbing

Phubbing: the habit of snubbing someone in favour of a mobile phone

 

One day she’ll get tired.

You’ll know when that day comes.

It will be the day you feel as ignored as she did.

💔

 

 

Why I’m a Bitch

 

Why Im a Bitch

Because every time I call you out on your shit, you flip it the fuck around and make it seem like I’m the one at fault. The majority of the time you KNOW you did something wrong but are too big of a dick to admit it.

💔

Maybe, Just Maybe

With time I came to see, that the frantic, broken, anxious, unhinged version of me was nothing to be ashamed of. I was simply a kindhearted person reacting to a very unkind situation.

💔

 

A Woman’s Intuition

Women's Intution

A woman’s intuition is dangerous.
If she keeps questioning you about a specific topic, over and over again, she really isn’t looking for an answer. She already knows the truth but wants to see if you’re going to be honest with her.

 

 

I Care

I Care

When you are a good person you don’t lose people, they lose you.

💔

Game of Love

Love

Looks like I won “the I love you more” game.

One I would have gladly given anything to lose.

💔

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