Today Is Our Wedding Day!

So our wedding is today. I am about to marry my best friend in the whole world and I am so happy this day has finally arrived.

Our whole relationship has been like a Nicholas Sparks novel and I feel like I have reached the end of a chapter that grabs your curiosity and forces you to go on to the next. I feel like my whole life has been leading up to this point and I am right on the verge of beginning of the greatest years of my life.

Now granted, it won’t always be easy but that’s what makes it fun. Maybe I’m naïve, or maybe, just maybe I know exactly what I’m getting into and I’m ready for this challenge. At any rate, I am the happiest woman in the world.

I love you!

In My Arms

Seems like you’ve been gone for so long.

You walked through the door at mid-night. At first you don’t see me but then you turn your head and you look at me with your penetrating eyes. Suddenly your arms are around me. I wrap my arms around you. And I don’t want to let go. I want to be one with you. Not gently. Not romantically. But the way we’ve always been… with passion…with heat… with energy and life. You whisper in my ear, “I’ve missed you.” And, I’ve missed you too, so very much. 


Only 17 hours to go before you arrive at the airport. I’m dying to see you. I don’t want to see you, I need too. I need to see those green eyes. I love they way they look when you are looking at me. They light up my world and drown away my worries.
I’ve missed you. I’ve missed your voice. I’m struck each time you tell me you love me.

 I think of my future and how there is no one better than you.

 I freaking love you! 

It’s Our Turn

Many years and many miles have kept us apart for so long sometimes it’s hard to believe we have really found each other again. Now we must make time disappear and distance grow shorter. We have grown older and matured; now it’s our turn … it’s our turn to make each other happy. 

When You’re Gone

“I always needed time on my own

I never thought I’d need you there when I cry

And the days feel like years when I’m alone And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

Everything that I do reminds me of you

And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor

And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do


When you’re gone

The pieces of my heart are missing you

When you’re gone

The face I came to know is missing too

When you’re gone

The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok

I miss you”

Avril Lavigne – When You’re Gone

Another Day

Today is another day that I will spend too far away from you. The house is silent as I am the only one awake and as I sit here with my morning coffee I have a moment to breathe before all the activities of the day begin. The peacefulness is allowing me to think only about you and to reflect upon the lovely words you email and text me. Your words are so eloquent and yet so casual … like an expert chef who doesn’t need to think about the ingredients for his special delicious. I can’t seem to do that adequately, in my mind, in the course of everyday emails. I try to convey how much I love you but in order to do so I have to sit quietly and construct each sentence just so – as I am now.

This is part of what has been on my mind this morning:

I miss you with me. I dream of you. With every message, every phone call, and every email from you, I feel more loved than I have ever felt in my entire life. And what I find so beautiful is the amazing connection of our souls. It’s knowing that no matter where we are or what we are doing there is one person who loves each of us unconditionally. It is safe and comfortable as much as it is beautiful. It is how we have overcome the physical separation. It is how we dream and hope and live. I’m already so close to you, I feel you inside me, but I want to be next to you, touching you, inhaling your scent, tasting your lips. Like you, I just want to be close. 

Defeated Thoughts

I cried myself to sleep last night you know. I was just missing you and I felt alone. There I was lying on the couch, a tear escaped my eye and I began to cry. (Seems the couch is my favourite place to boohoo.)

With all of my being I want your arms around me. I want to feel your lips on my neck and your fingers tangled in my hair. I miss spending the evening alone with you.

Most of all…I just wanted you here. I wanted to be able to turn over and see your face thisclosetomine.

And I hate that I’m so wrapped in emotions. Why do I cry like this every so often? It is so not like me. I am usually so composed, so in control of my feelings. Perhaps it’s because I don’t want to be in control all the time. Or perhaps it’s because I just really miss you.


“Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle… rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be”. – Source Unknown

I need you. I need to be in your arms. If only if you were here … I wouldn’t know the definition of this agony that time and distance inflicts day after day. 

I hope as you breath that cold, mountain air, you can sense me with you. As I sense your warmth on these cold, winter nights. 

Oh lover, if only you were here. For now we’ll both continue to dream that some-day dream. 

A Lifetime

“Some people say that love doesn’t last forever.

But I’ve met other people. And while over the decades their bodies have forgotten the ideas of who they were, their heads remember their hearts.

Maybe they didn’t love forever, just a lifetime.

But they still make liars of those people. You and I can make liars of them too.” …Source Unknown


The space beside me is far too empty of you. I love you and I’m missing you … I cannot wait for you to come back to me.

Heart Desires

I once read, “that once your heart desires something, the entire universe conspires to help it achieve what it wants.”

I guess it’s true because you walked back into my life. And, everyday I tell myself how lucky I am to be continuing my life’s journey with you.

I will never stop reminding myself.

I love you!


I look forward to tomorrow, knowing that I’ll be one day closer to seeing you again.

Three Simple Words



I really do.

My Love In Technicolor

Before you, my world was grey.

Except, to my eyes, it was normal, this lack of colour was acceptable, relatable; my world was a lack of all that was vibrant and right.

Then you entered my life, like mellow and relaxing music, like a comfortable atmosphere, you surrounded me and put me at ease, thereby allowing snippets of colour to be injected into the monotony that was my day after day after day.

I heard your voice and listened to you laugh once again. I read your words, they touched me and brought back memories buried deep within my subconscious. You lifted me up, placed me next to you and commenced to tell me things about myself that I had forgotten. Things no one else had noticed, things no one else cared about.

More colours, more lights, into a world that had long since forgotten their meanings.

And I adored you; I was amazed with your actions and your wit, your love and your abilities. And I saw you, took in the handsome smoothness of your face, looked into the green eyes that captivated me so. I held your hand, was struck by the realization that my love was as solid for you as your hand in mine.

You guided me with love…and the life of the colours I had dismissed, were brought back in full flow.

I was dizzy from watching them, but you held me steady and delighted in seeing my childlike wonder in the new world we discovered…

…and then you had to go.

I had to leave the colours, leave the lights, leave the life that I enjoyed so much and was growing fond of…a life with you.

Now here, in this hell, comprised of cold and desolate plains, where there is nothing but grey and lifeless to be seen, I miss you with the fiercest passion.

And to alleviate the pain, I spend my time plotting.

Plotting my life with you.

I Need…

~ I need to wake up next to you.
~ I need to watch you sleeping for a while.
~ I need to tell you off for spilling beer on the sofa
~ I need to remember to hug you for as long as possible before you leave.
~ I need to think of you all day, making a few mistakes at work.
~ I need to hum when making coffee.
~ I need to daydream when my friends talk to me.
~ I need to spend the night cuddled in your arms watching TV.
~ I need to here you laugh when I complain that there’s nothing on TV, when I know neither of us care
~ I need to kiss you before I get ready to go to sleep
~ I need to fall asleep knowing you’re right beside me.
~ I need to remember to say “I love you today” before the next day dawns.

I need YOU.


I sit here at home, wondering how things are going, wondering how you are doing. Wishing I could be there by your side.

For you see…

I miss your voice that soothed me when I was scared and shushed the rising of tears when it was time for you to go.

I miss your touch that held me tight through the night, promising that you would never let go.

I miss your eyes that held love only for me.

I miss your ears that listened to every word I spoke we talked for hours.

I miss your kisses that were hot across my skin when you kissed me goodbye.

Most of all…

I miss you. You are all I ever wanted. All I ever needed.

Do me a favour my love … when you send emails from that far away place, tell me that you are coming home soon. Because that gives me hope, hope that soon I will hold you again.

I love you!

Just Longing For You

Every second of my day,
My body is calling for you,
My mind is calling for you,
My soul is calling for you,

And my heart is screaming for you.

It’s so much easier to be apart, when I know how long we are parted, and when that time is short. Then my body, and my mind, and my soul, and especially my heart, can try to wait patiently.

However, now we are separated, not by a weekend trip with family, or a Saturday job, or an outing with friends. We are separated by: an eleven-hour flight, a three-hour time difference, ever shifting work and stupidly expensive texting rates.

So of course my body, and my mind, and my soul, and especially my heart, start their loud and constant objection.

So now, at nights I am kept awake by thoughts of you. Then I am plagued by blissful dreams of you. And I am kept restless knowing I cannot be in your arms where I belong.

And what does my heart do?

It cries,
And weeps,
And screams,
And begs.

But most of all, it will lie there, feeling hollow and broken, because part of it, remains with you. And in these quiet moments, of longing you be reunited with you, I find myself drifting. And I clutch the reminder of you that I wear around my neck, in my small, tight fist.

And I just long for you.



There’s something about us. I can’t put my finger on it. But there’s something … something phenomenal.

I love you!


You make me feel as though I am special. You are the only person I know who wouldn’t change one thing about me. You love everything about me, even my flaws you find hard to resist, because if you changed anything I wouldn’t be me, I’d be someone else. And that somebody else, whoever they were just wouldn’t be the same and that would never do.

A Picture

I have a picture. It’s one my favourite pictures. Not of a special person or a special place. It’s just one moment in time.

The moment I asked a question and you said, “Yes”. 



I’m sitting here drinking my morning coffee, and thinking about “missing”.

Missing is a strange thing that I never thought applied to my life. But, now you’ve flown away, I miss you with a fiery intensity. It burns and burns. It has no end.

Missing is unfair. It creeps up sneakily behind me and leaps to my side whenever you’re not here.

I miss the warmth in your eyes. And the smile that plays on your lips. I miss the sound of your voice… I can’t hear it. I miss holding your hand and arguing over the colour of the sky. I miss waking up in the middle of the night, feeling your warmth beside me. Your chest against my back, your arm around my waist, your legs bending in line with mine.

I just miss things like this. And you.


Stripped naked and left vulnerable, when the mask is undone. No one has such an effect on me before; your very presence seems to take all my blues away.

The walls just disappear with you around me. You’ve opened me up, you’ve made me smile. I see skins of myself that I’ve never seen before, I sit here undressed, but I feel liberated.

The mask is not required with you around; I am finally able to trust — completely and honestly.

The layers of skin peeling away, the caterpillar finally becoming a butterfly. Although naked and vulnerable around you, it sure feels damn right. 

I Miss You

I miss our funny, little jokes that only we could understand.

I miss sitting on the sofa together and talking, just talking.

I miss laughing with you, when we’d discover things that we both thought were really funny.

I miss you. What else can I say?

Missed The Most

The gentle teasing of your hand on my cheek. The way your arms wrap around my body. The way you say I love you and kiss my neck. The way you move my hair away from my face. The way your voice brings chills to my spine when you whisper in my ear. The luscious feeling I get when my lips meet yours. That jolt of chemistry I feel when I stare into your eyes. The way your eyes light up when you are telling a story. The way you smile when I smile at you. The way you chuckle when I mess up my words.

All these things and more will be missed.

The simple way we were just together and it was just us… will be missed the most. 

It Means…

… anyway you want to say it the meaning remains the same.

I love you.

Some Things Never Change

You know who I am. Not the me who changes masks for the world every hour of the day, depending on the audience – you know the me behind that. Beyond the tiny voice in my head. Beyond the compromises I make.

You accept me. You understand me. From the tapping of my fingers, to the corners of my mouth, to the look in my eyes.

You know me. And I love you. 

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  • Day By Day

    January 2010
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