“I” feel very happy with you.
“Love” is so beautiful.
“You” are enough for me.
Now join first words of the sentences.
Things are different now. No other eyes are as captivating. No other smile is as contagious.
No one else’s words are as reassuring. No other arms are as comforting. I don’t get butterflies at the thought of anyone else.
When another walks by, I no longer give a second look. It’s like no one else exists; no one but you. They say that “love is blind;” and if anything, I’m only blind to everyone else.
Seeing through the eyes of love is like seeing under a microscope. I see things in you that I could never see in others. Each little quirk, story, and moment with you are like the cells that make you who you are to me. It’s as though I’ve discovered something for the very first time, and now that I know of its existence I can’t imagine a world without.
As I learn about you, I am also learning about myself. I’ve never felt like I quite belonged in this world until now. Until I had someone to walk beside me, encourage me, dream with me.
I smile at the thought of you. I am sad at thought of being away from you.
Things are different now. A few years ago I never thought this would happen. I had given up hope. But here you are… my love, my happiness, my future.
Things are different now. I love you.
The things that I like are vast and complicated. I like a lot of things, I like to try new things and I like to be open to different experiences. To name a few things I like:
I like kissing, in fact I love kissing. Slow kisses, fast kisses, intense kisses, passionate kisses, long kisses, short kisses. I like the way you lick your lips before leaning in to press them against mine. I like how you hold my body close against yours as we kiss. I like running my hands through your hair as we kiss.
I like the way you smell; I like how the scent of you makes me just want to inhale you in. I like how you like the smell of me. I like when you tell me I smell good. I like when you breathe me in, smelling my desire, it makes me tingle.
I like the way you look at me when you’re turned on. I like your facial expression when you like what you see as you look at me. I like to see the hunger in your eyes when you look at me like you want me.
I like the way you touch me. I like how you know the things that I like. I like that you want to make me feel good. I like making you feel good. I like that we fit together.
Years ago, I tried so desperately to let go of you. To kick you out of my heart, my mind, my dreams. I tried my hardest. And I succeeded … for a while. I ignored the tug at my heart every time I saw little things that reminded me of you (things like white vans, The Lunar Rogue). I ignored the jealous thoughts that would start to flare up when I thought of you with someone else. I was so used to being the one you would always have your hands on, so used to us absentmindedly touching each other’s arms, you tickling me tortuously, your kisses. So I became numb to it, I tried not to let it affect me. I fully convinced myself I was over you.
But that was then. Last year through by some really perfect act of the fates we connected again. Ours is a good story, the kind that they make movies about. The love, anger, tears, attraction, long late night conversations, the pain … eventually all that struggling was worth it.
The first time I saw you again I got hit with a feeling so hard that it damn near knocked me breathless. I had reservations but that weekend you made me fall for you all over again. I fell especially hard and fast. You soothed me, talked sense into me, explaining the reasons I already knew, reassuring me. Loving me. There are things you told me that elated me, and to this day are still etched almost perfectly into my memory.
You will always be the one I think of as my one true love. I am so glad you are my husband.
I love you.
There is nothing that binds us together outside of ourselves and our choice to be with one another. You have promised to love me for the rest of your life. That is a super powerful feeling. Knowing that I am loved makes all the difference in the world to me. Life is hard and relationships are hard work: why bother at all, if there isn’t love?
How do I know you love me? Well, that would be a post for another day, but suffice it to say, you declare your love to me in a myriad of ways. It’s definitely not like the old farmer’s wife joke. In “Fiddler on the Roof” the wife asks her husband one day if he loves her. The old farmer bellows, “Woman, I told you once on the day we got married, and if it ever changes I’ll let you know!”
I sometimes take for granted the ways you express your love for me, often through good deeds or provision of material needs, sometimes those ways are too subtle, sometimes I need bluntness. But no matter how you say it or show it, I always know that you love me … I can feel it in my heart. And, I love you.
My dearest husband,
So much of who I am today I owe to you. Do you remember the first time we were together, in that hotel room, in that little east coast town? We went from kissing, to exploring each other’s bodies, to rolling around on the bed – I was dizzy with passion. That morning began the period of my life where you woke me up, taught me how to live and how to love.
This letter is a thank you. You have taught me more about myself than I had ever thought possible. Despite a lifetime of secrets, I learned how to tell you the truth about anything and everything. And I learned that you wanted to hear it. Sometimes it was hard – it’s not easy to always tell someone the truth. But it was so important to me to do so, to tell you everything, to let you IN, that once I started telling you everything in my heart and head, I never looked back.
Thank you for knowing how I take my coffee. Thank you for always worrying about my safety and happiness. For making who I am the single most interesting thing in the world to you.
Thank you for touching me, holding me, making love to me, fucking me. And, for doing it whenever we want. Thank you for giving me the best times of my life, the stuff that most people only dream about but that I get to have. Thank you for the ring you gave me, which never comes off the finger on my left hand.
Thank you for telling me all the secrets you had. Thank you for dusting out the cobwebs in your soul and taking a chance on me again. Thank you for going with me to new places, to be able to eat and drink in a foreign city and whittle away the hours we were not in bed sightseeing and just being with me. Thank you for holding my hand when we walk.
Thank you for bringing me a drink when I am taking a bubble bath. For the love letters you wrote me. And for your face lighting up every time you saw me, every time I came into the room.
And most of all, thank you for waiting for me. For believing in us even when I was confused. Thank you for being the love of my life and my dearest friend.
I will always love you. Always.