When I was in university my psychology professor said:
“When you fall in love with someone you aren’t interested in anyone else. If you are, you aren’t in love.”
I think everyone needs to hear that.
Worst Feeling Ever
Seeing someone slowly lose interest in you is probably one of the worst feelings ever.
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Under a Microscope
You were too busy finding faults in me while I was too busy overlooking yours.
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Love Me Just the Way I Am
You tend to get a little idealistic. You romanticize someone to the point where you almost take away their humanity. When you finally start to realize that they are only human, made up of quirks and mistakes, you lose interest pretty quickly and are constantly disappointed because people never live up to the version of them you’ve created in your mind. But, then again, how could they? You need to allow people room to be themselves, without your ideas of them. Stop being so hard on the person you love and try and learn to appreciate them just as they are.
I’m Not Perfect
Keep in mind that you’re never going to find someone who is perfect or a perfect match. Because the truth is, you’re not perfect. And you never will be. And you know what? Neither is anyone else. You’re only going to find other flawed human beings who are going to do their best to love you. Try and accept and appreciate less than perfection. You’ll find it easier to find love that way.
Attention Seekers
… and I would rather have the heart of one man, over the attention of many.
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What Will Be, Will Be
I won’t ever tell you what you can and cannot do. I’ve signed up to be your partner, not your parent. If you want to put yourself in a position that can ruin what we have, then so be it.
♡
Suspicious
I hate being suspicious about things, but damn that gut feeling is always right.
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What Do Your Actions Show
Never try to control him. Let him do what he wants so you can see what he’d rather do. His actions will show how much he respects you.
Disposable Love
Love, despite living in Disposable Culture, will not dispose of a person for some far-off idealization of a perfect person.
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In the Silence
And in the silence I suddenly understood the many ways a person can die but still be alive.
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Phubbing
Phubbing: the habit of snubbing someone in favour of a mobile phone
One day she’ll get tired.
You’ll know when that day comes.
It will be the day you feel as ignored as she did.
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Why I’m a Bitch
Because every time I call you out on your shit, you flip it the fuck around and make it seem like I’m the one at fault. The majority of the time you KNOW you did something wrong but are too big of a dick to admit it.
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Maybe, Just Maybe
With time I came to see, that the frantic, broken, anxious, unhinged version of me was nothing to be ashamed of. I was simply a kindhearted person reacting to a very unkind situation.
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A Woman’s Intuition
A woman’s intuition is dangerous.
If she keeps questioning you about a specific topic, over and over again, she really isn’t looking for an answer. She already knows the truth but wants to see if you’re going to be honest with her.
I Care
When you are a good person you don’t lose people, they lose you.
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Game of Love
Looks like I won “the I love you more” game.
One I would have gladly given anything to lose.
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Simple Love
I miss when love felt simple. When love was without thought and without worry. I miss when love felt as natural and as easy as breathing, when everything we did and everything we said was out of love.
I miss when love was not a list of reasons why I should stay and why I should go, neither of them winning, neither of them making sense. I miss when love was not tangled up in resentment and hurt, and anger.
I miss when you were the answer to every question, not the one creating them. I miss when love was not a game of secrets when I had to play detective to uncover your latest crime. I miss when you told me things before I discovered them, I miss when there was never anything to discover in the first place. I miss when your phone did not feel like a loaded weapon, when it did not feel like something which would go off and rip my entire world apart. I miss when female names did not feel like stab wounds to my chest. I miss when I was not convinced you wanted to fuck her. I miss calmness inside my body instead of this twisting, sickening feeling like I’m hurtling towards the ground.
I miss when love felt simple. When love was exactly what I had spent my whole life knowing it to be. I miss when love was just happiness and contentment when our love was the definition of the word. I miss when I knew that what I felt and what we shared was love. It was easier that way, certain, concrete. Love meant you and me forever, for always.
But now, I’m not sure what love is, I’m not even sure it lives with us anymore. I miss when love was not tears and silent treatment. When love was not locking myself in the bathroom and sobbing so much my chest felt as if it might collapse. I miss when love was not this, not hurtful, not pain. I miss when love felt like love, like flying, like freedom. I miss when love did not feel like a knife carving away at me, taking pieces of me, making me come apart.
I miss when love felt simple.
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One Day
One day you will understand why storms are named after people.
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Be Loyal or Stay Single
It should be a no brainer.
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You Realize
And finally you realize…. you can’t force consistency, loyalty or even honesty.
You can’t force them to keep their word, or to communicate… or to realize something special is right in front of them.
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Profound Statement
The mind replays what the heart cannot delete. Such a profound statement.
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One Million Views
OMGoodness, I’m so frigging surprised right now. My blog has been viewed over a million times! At the time of posting this has been viewed 1,000,022 times. A huge thanks to everyone who keeps visiting andimissyou.
It started out as a happy blog about love but the last few months it’s turned into a sad blog about a breaking relationship. People say that marriage isn’t easy and you have your ups and downs. Well, mine is definitely experiencing a low point.
If you are fortunate enough to share your life with someone you love, then you owe it to yourself and your partner to make an effort every day in your relationship.
They say love conquers all and that all you need is love, but unfortunately a solid relationship needs more than that. It requires being there for each other, giving support, showing love, feeling loved, being grateful that you are sharing your lives together, and above all, showing your appreciation every day.
Never stop trying to keep the love alive because once one person stops trying, it’s the beginning of the end.
Too Much, Too Little
A relationship fails from the lies and the deceit and the betrayal and the hurt and the pain. There are no excuses, reasons, no ways around it. One person forgets to recognise the effort, the trials, the fighting for one another. You forget that she has put up with all of your faults, your imperfections, all your ugly-parts-that-nobody-would-ever-accept.
I never wanted to give up— in terms of on you or us. I never wanted to give up because I knew you in ways that you didn’t think I did. I knew your past, your secrets. You knew all of mine. We opened each other up and scrutinized and examined and took what we wanted and ran away with what only we needed.
What you loved more than me hurt me constantly and instead of trying to make you change, I tried to adapt to them and in the process, lost myself and my morals, my priorities, my wants and needs. And in turn, I lost my way. And I’ve realised I allowed myself to put your happiness above my own.
And it sits here, in this room, it takes up so much space and I just watch it day to day wondering if life would have been better. If you would have ever put me above it.
In the End
Here you are – hurting, waiting, wanting for something to change. You ask yourself about a hundred times, is it something you said? Maybe. And then you ask yourself a thousand more times, is it something you did? Possibly.
But in the end – yes. It’s always your fault, never ever his. Because you are settling with this mentality – it’s not you, it’s me.
And you are willing to swallow your pride, than hurt his ego. And you choose not to break your silence, even though you know you are free to call him out on the bullshit he’s blatantly putting you through. And you can’t find the courage in your heart and the wisdom in every fiber of your mind to simply – walk away. Why?
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Patience Has a Limit
I’m a very patient person but this has been going on long enough. It’s time. Time for you to break up with the work gf.
I thought that this infatuation would have run its course by now. But I have come to realise the infatuation has turned into full blown obsession.
My patience has worn thin. Time for you stop behaving like a single man. Lest you become one.
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Broken
I want you to love me like I loved you.
I want you to hurt like I have been hurting.
I wish fairy tales were true because you would have saved my heart, not broke it in two.
Feelings
I don’t want to feel anything. At all. But sometimes the feelings attack me so hard I can’t ignore them anymore. They push and push and push, until they finally come through, and then, usually, I run. I can’t bear to deal with them, and I certainly can’t deal with the feelings that come after.
How Could You
I took it personal because I wouldn’t have done it to you. Never.
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Privacy vs Secrecy
Positive Side of Secrecy: One spouse carries out some activities very secretly and it doesn’t have negative impact in married life. For example, secretly buying a ticket for holiday trip or planning an evening out without the knowledge of other partner but the secret results in a stronger relationship. Actually the motive behind these secrets are the care and thinking about the other partner and their happiness. In true sense, these are not called secrets but surprises.
Negative Side of Secrecy: There are circumstances when the love, trust and mutual respect is brutally dishonored by one or the other. This is happens when one spouse starts an element of secrecy, hiding something from other partner deliberately, something that would hurt the other partner. The secrecy is maintained by the person purposefully in order to keep the things concealed and mislead the other partner. But the matters can’t be hidden for long and soon the person being deceived finds out and they are naturally shocked and feel betrayed.
A partner, who is betrayed in marriage, may never recover from its wrong impacts.
Body or Soul
If a man loves a woman’s soul, he’ll end up loving one woman. But, if he just loves a woman’s body or face, all the women in the world won’t satisfy him.
What I Want
You want to be the last person he thinks about before he falls asleep. You want to be his first thought when he wakes up. You want to be the one he texts or calls when he’s bored.
Sadly, I’m not that one anymore.
Is Sexting Cheating?
A recent survey found that the majority of participants (a whopping 85% of women and 74% of men) believed sending sexual or flirty messages was considered cheating.
The majority of people believe it is cheating because they know it hurts their partner and they are hiding their contact with the other person. Why are they hiding it? Because they know it’s wrong.
The biggest problem with cheating isn’t the sex, nor is it the other woman or man, nor is it the form it comes in — whether it’s flirting, ‘friending’ someone on Facebook, getting emotionally connected to someone else, or actually sleeping together. The biggest problem with cheating is going outside the relationship for something that is supposed to be met inside the relationship.
Almost everyone texts, and texting in and of itself is neither good, bad or cheating. It becomes cheating when we’re sharing something with someone else that belongs only to our partner — our bodies, intimate thoughts and feelings, or parts of our lives that we committed to our partner. No one should have to compete with another for their significant other’s affection, real or virtual.
If you’re sending any kind of sexual message to someone other than your spouse that’s a conscious choice. There’s a degree of thought that goes into composing a sext, however fleeting, and enough time for you to think, ‘Maybe I shouldn’t do this.’
This issue is wide open for the hypothetical “if the circumstances were reversed” question. It can be largely agreed upon, however, that if you don’t want your spouse to see the texts that you are sending to other people then you’re having an inappropriate “relationship.”
We are all responsible for our own behavior as well as what we decide to put up with from someone else. Certain behaviors are out of bounds in a marriage. You know, like sexting a “friend.” Everyone has to give up something for the warmth and care of a committed and loving partner. It doesn’t mean you get to cheat on them in real life or in virtual life. Anonymous pictures, fantasies and thoughts are okay when contained. Cheating is when there is a real third person.
Everyone should know what is and is not okay with their partner. The most successful couples have a simple rule: if you wouldn’t do it in front of me, don’t do it. That leaves no room for grey areas or arguments.
Individuals have their own definition of what constitutes cheating – which is why you need to spell out, specifically, what counts as infidelity for you when you’re in a monogamous relationship. Ask yourself this ‘What would my partner think, if they could see me right now?” Doing whatever it is they’re doing.
If their partner wouldn’t like it then it’s considered cheating. Even though there’s no physical contact, sexting is still sharing intimate, sexual words or images with someone other than your partner. Whether or not you actually sleep with the person you’re sexting with, your partner is going to be just as hurt as if you actually had consummated the affair. Whatever the act is, if it makes one spouse uncomfortable, unhappy, or feeling betrayed, then it is wrong.
Men are radar-like when it comes to being threatened by other men sexually hitting on their woman. Men know there is nothing platonic about suggestive sex. When he’s messaging something sexual then there’s a problem. He’s emotionally invested in the idea of sleeping with her.
There’s only so much online flirting a woman can take before it’s unforgivable. Women will forgive a lot, but they will never forgive a shady inbox with flirty or explicit messages. You may as well just have sex with them. Because that’s what you’re trying to get, isn’t it? Isn’t the groundwork just as harmful as the deed?
He may say that you had no right going through his phone. And, you had no right going through his phone. There has to be some trust, and some level of respect for one another in a marriage. But, where do you draw the line in your marriage over privacy? What limits do you have when you suspect something is not right? He brought the suspicion on himself by doing something out of routine, such as checking his phone all the time. Hiding things, doing things he shouldn’t, and looking guilty while doing it. Your instincts kicked in, and you know something was not right.
“If you discover your partner is sexting other women online, confront him. If he lies, denies, or blames you for invading his privacy, you can be sure there is more trouble ahead. If he owns up to his misgivings and shows genuine remorse, regret, and begs to get the help, then you’ve got a shot for the future. Once a person is caught sexting, their partner is entitled to ask to see their phone or online messages on a regular basis. Everyone has a right to privacy, but once trust has been broken and the couple wants to work together to reconcile, the cheater will have to make their partner feel comfortable again, which may involve giving them access to the phone that enabled the relationship rift in the first place.” Dr. Fran Walfish, psychotherapist.
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Personally I believe any kind of sexual suggestion to another in a text is just as disloyal as physical fling. Since it involves a recipient, it’s a way of being sexually intimate with another person, and that’s cheating.
If I found out my husband was sexting another woman – whether it was subtle innuendos or overtly sexual messages – my marriage would be over. Sexting another woman crosses a sexual and emotional boundary and I’m not sure I could forgive that action. I know I couldn’t.
When I Realised
Even when I realised I could no longer trust you, I still could not keep myself from loving you. Even when I realised you didn’t deserve me, I still felt like I deserved you. Because I had already given so much of me, and invested so much time and energy into “us” that it didn’t seem fair to walk away with nothing.
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And I Wonder
I understand feeling as small and insignificantly as humanly possible.
And how it can actually ache in places you didn’t know you had inside you.
And it doesn’t matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or new clothes you get – you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood.
And how in the heck, for that brief moment in time, you could think you were happy.
That Man
Every girl needs a man … the kind that will treat you right as well as others; the kind that has respect for himself, family & others.
The kind that searches for you with his heart; the kind that can be trusted alone with a room full of many other beautiful ladies; the kind that will never cheat on you cause he knows he’s got all he wants and needs already.
The kind of man that wants to be your friend. The kind that doesn’t mind calling you early in the morning to say good morning and late at night to say good night; the kind that will do anything for you, even if it’s just to buy your favourite kind of candy.
One that texts you just to tell you that he loves you and misses you a lot. The kind that appreciates you for the things you do for him, even if they’re little. The kind that is willing to wait for you when you’re falling behind, the kind that will actually open the door for you, take you out on dates once in a while, get groceries with you without complaining, and buy you flowers cause it’s a Wednesday.
The kind that reminds you that he loves you and that he’s happy with you in case you forget, the kind that just doesn’t want kisses but hugs too. The kind that calls you “beautiful” sometimes. The kind that kisses your forehead when you’re down, the kind that will go through thick & thin for and with you.
The kind that just loves you just for who you are.
Broken Trust
I trusted you….
That’s all I want to say.
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Hidden Truths
There are no secrets, only hidden truths.
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Love Is….
… love is a verb not a noun.
Love is the action we take daily, moment by moment and year by year.
And we are all judged by our actions.
Penny For Your Thoughts
And I can’t believe I hadn’t realized that when we spent all those moments together she was in the back of your mind the whole fucking time.
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Together
Love is choosing to serve someone and be with someone in spite of their filthy heart. Love is patient and kind, love is deliberate. Love is hard. Love is pain and sacrifice, it’s seeing the darkness in another person and defying the impulse to jump ship.
❤
It’s Valentine’s Day
It’s the littlest of things that make women happy. The ten seconds it would have taken you to write “Happy Valentine’s Day, I love you” on Facebook or text me would have totally made up for the fact you forgot your wife again this Valentine’s Day.
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Not Maybe
Nothing boils my blood more than a guy making a girl feel crazy for her suspicions when he’s doing exactly what she’s questioning about.
People Change
She used to call him her “life.” So what happen then? Well, her “life” changed.
People change.
Even the devil was an angel once.
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Unforeseen Consequences
Love Actually is one of my favourite movies. One of the saddest parts is when Emma Thompson’s character notices her husband’s, played by Alan Rickman, reaction to his attractive co-worker.
Karen: Mia’s very pretty.
Harry: [nonchalantly but unconvincingly] Is she?
Karen: You know she is, darling. Be careful there.
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I’m Not Perfect
I’m not perfect. When it comes to relationships, I mess up, I fall too hard, I get easily jealous. But there are three things I am proud of being me:
- I do not play
- I give my best
- When I choose you, it’s only you
What Really Matters
I don’t care how many people flirt with you …. it’s what you say back that really matters.
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Happy 7th Anniversary
Seven years…. it seems like only yesterday we said “I do”. Love you just as much now as I did then.
♥
Everything
When I tell you I love you, I mean that with every part of my heart, because my heart belongs to you. It’s not much but it’s everything I have.
♥
Live Love Dream
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