I hate being suspicious about things, but damn that gut feeling is always right.
💔
What Do Your Actions Show
Never try to control him. Let him do what he wants so you can see what he’d rather do. His actions will show how much he respects you.
Disposable Love
Love, despite living in Disposable Culture, will not dispose of a person for some far-off idealization of a perfect person.
💔
The Insidious Poison of Disengagement in Your Relationship
When one partner in the relationship begins to disengage…. this is the warning sign of impending doom. Beyond the worst argument, the most hurtful betrayal, the cruelest words — disengagement is death knell for any relationship.
Disengagement is simply the loss of willingness to invest time, energy, and emotion into the relationship. It is flat-lining, going belly up without caring enough to put up a fight, much less to put in the work needed to keep the relationship alive and thriving. Of not caring. Of letting the connection go. Of not being willing to devote time and effort to the relationship.
When the people we love or with whom we have a deep connection stop caring, stop paying attention, stop investing and fighting for the relationship, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in. Disengagement triggers shame and our greatest fears—the fears of being abandoned, unworthy, and unlovable. What can make this covert betrayal so much more dangerous than something like a lie or an affair is that we can’t point to the source of our pain—there’s no event, no obvious evidence of brokenness.
You are bound but unraveling at the same time. It only takes one person to disengage for the poison to spread and infect the relationship. Eventually the person trying to engage and seeking engagement from the other will give up. Sometimes this is exactly what the disengager wants. They are passively trying to end the relationship. Other times they are blind to the havoc they are creating and only wake up when their loved gives them a wake-up call or walks away.
Full article: http://liveboldandbloom.com/02/relationships/the-insidious-poison-of-disengagement-in-your-relationships
In the Silence
And in the silence I suddenly understood the many ways a person can die but still be alive.
💔
Phubbing
Phubbing: the habit of snubbing someone in favour of a mobile phone
One day she’ll get tired.
You’ll know when that day comes.
It will be the day you feel as ignored as she did.
💔
Why I’m a Bitch
Because every time I call you out on your shit, you flip it the fuck around and make it seem like I’m the one at fault. The majority of the time you KNOW you did something wrong but are too big of a dick to admit it.
💔
Maybe, Just Maybe
With time I came to see, that the frantic, broken, anxious, unhinged version of me was nothing to be ashamed of. I was simply a kindhearted person reacting to a very unkind situation.
💔
A Woman’s Intuition
A woman’s intuition is dangerous.
If she keeps questioning you about a specific topic, over and over again, she really isn’t looking for an answer. She already knows the truth but wants to see if you’re going to be honest with her.
I Care
When you are a good person you don’t lose people, they lose you.
💔
Game of Love
Looks like I won “the I love you more” game.
One I would have gladly given anything to lose.
💔
Simple Love
I miss when love felt simple. When love was without thought and without worry. I miss when love felt as natural and as easy as breathing, when everything we did and everything we said was out of love.
I miss when love was not a list of reasons why I should stay and why I should go, neither of them winning, neither of them making sense. I miss when love was not tangled up in resentment and hurt, and anger.
I miss when you were the answer to every question, not the one creating them. I miss when love was not a game of secrets when I had to play detective to uncover your latest crime. I miss when you told me things before I discovered them, I miss when there was never anything to discover in the first place. I miss when your phone did not feel like a loaded weapon, when it did not feel like something which would go off and rip my entire world apart. I miss when female names did not feel like stab wounds to my chest. I miss when I was not convinced you wanted to fuck her. I miss calmness inside my body instead of this twisting, sickening feeling like I’m hurtling towards the ground.
I miss when love felt simple. When love was exactly what I had spent my whole life knowing it to be. I miss when love was just happiness and contentment when our love was the definition of the word. I miss when I knew that what I felt and what we shared was love. It was easier that way, certain, concrete. Love meant you and me forever, for always.
But now, I’m not sure what love is, I’m not even sure it lives with us anymore. I miss when love was not tears and silent treatment. When love was not locking myself in the bathroom and sobbing so much my chest felt as if it might collapse. I miss when love was not this, not hurtful, not pain. I miss when love felt like love, like flying, like freedom. I miss when love did not feel like a knife carving away at me, taking pieces of me, making me come apart.
I miss when love felt simple.
💔
One Day
One day you will understand why storms are named after people.
💔
Be Loyal or Stay Single
It should be a no brainer.
💔
You Realize
And finally you realize…. you can’t force consistency, loyalty or even honesty.
You can’t force them to keep their word, or to communicate… or to realize something special is right in front of them.
💔
Too Much, Too Little
A relationship fails from the lies and the deceit and the betrayal and the hurt and the pain. There are no excuses, reasons, no ways around it. One person forgets to recognise the effort, the trials, the fighting for one another. You forget that she has put up with all of your faults, your imperfections, all your ugly-parts-that-nobody-would-ever-accept.
I never wanted to give up— in terms of on you or us. I never wanted to give up because I knew you in ways that you didn’t think I did. I knew your past, your secrets. You knew all of mine. We opened each other up and scrutinized and examined and took what we wanted and ran away with what only we needed.
What you loved more than me hurt me constantly and instead of trying to make you change, I tried to adapt to them and in the process, lost myself and my morals, my priorities, my wants and needs. And in turn, I lost my way. And I’ve realised I allowed myself to put your happiness above my own.
And it sits here, in this room, it takes up so much space and I just watch it day to day wondering if life would have been better. If you would have ever put me above it.
Patience Has a Limit
I’m a very patient person but this has been going on long enough. It’s time. Time for you to break up with the work gf.
I thought that this infatuation would have run its course by now. But I have come to realise the infatuation has turned into full blown obsession.
My patience has worn thin. Time for you stop behaving like a single man. Lest you become one.
💔
A Woman Knows
“What she don’t know won’t hurt her that’s what he tells himself”
She can’t put her finger on a single lipstick stain
Perfume doesn’t linger in a shirt
There’s no matchbook in his pocket with a number and a name
So why does she still hurt
‘Cause a woman knows, when there’s another woman
She can feel her, all over her man
A woman knows, when there’s another woman
You can’t fool her, don’t try to think you can
What she don’t know won’t hurt her that’s what he tells himself
So he hides his cheatin’ heart inside his chest
He thinks he’s put one over, but what he doesn’t know is
He’s already confessed
A woman knows, when there’s another woman
You can’t fool her, don’t try to think you can
You can’t fool her, don’ try to think you can
Broken
I want you to love me like I loved you.
I want you to hurt like I have been hurting.
I wish fairy tales were true because you would have saved my heart, not broke it in two.
Set Up to Take the Fall
Why do we get into relationships? We allow a person into our lives and into our hearts, risking heartbreak and emotional turbulence, hoping that the good times will outweigh the bad. We let our guard down in exchange for connection. We invest our very selves in something much bigger than us; the possibility of falling in love.
How safe is it to invest in the idea of something more? Are we just fooling ourselves, or do we really have another half? Are we betting too much in this love game, all the while setting ourselves up to be hurt?
Feelings
I don’t want to feel anything. At all. But sometimes the feelings attack me so hard I can’t ignore them anymore. They push and push and push, until they finally come through, and then, usually, I run. I can’t bear to deal with them, and I certainly can’t deal with the feelings that come after.
How Could You
I took it personal because I wouldn’t have done it to you. Never.
💔
Privacy vs Secrecy
Positive Side of Secrecy: One spouse carries out some activities very secretly and it doesn’t have negative impact in married life. For example, secretly buying a ticket for holiday trip or planning an evening out without the knowledge of other partner but the secret results in a stronger relationship. Actually the motive behind these secrets are the care and thinking about the other partner and their happiness. In true sense, these are not called secrets but surprises.
Negative Side of Secrecy: There are circumstances when the love, trust and mutual respect is brutally dishonored by one or the other. This is happens when one spouse starts an element of secrecy, hiding something from other partner deliberately, something that would hurt the other partner. The secrecy is maintained by the person purposefully in order to keep the things concealed and mislead the other partner. But the matters can’t be hidden for long and soon the person being deceived finds out and they are naturally shocked and feel betrayed.
A partner, who is betrayed in marriage, may never recover from its wrong impacts.
What I Want
You want to be the last person he thinks about before he falls asleep. You want to be his first thought when he wakes up. You want to be the one he texts or calls when he’s bored.
Sadly, I’m not that one anymore.
Is Sexting Cheating?
A recent survey found that the majority of participants (a whopping 85% of women and 74% of men) believed sending sexual or flirty messages was considered cheating.
The majority of people believe it is cheating because they know it hurts their partner and they are hiding their contact with the other person. Why are they hiding it? Because they know it’s wrong.
The biggest problem with cheating isn’t the sex, nor is it the other woman or man, nor is it the form it comes in — whether it’s flirting, ‘friending’ someone on Facebook, getting emotionally connected to someone else, or actually sleeping together. The biggest problem with cheating is going outside the relationship for something that is supposed to be met inside the relationship.
Almost everyone texts, and texting in and of itself is neither good, bad or cheating. It becomes cheating when we’re sharing something with someone else that belongs only to our partner — our bodies, intimate thoughts and feelings, or parts of our lives that we committed to our partner. No one should have to compete with another for their significant other’s affection, real or virtual.
If you’re sending any kind of sexual message to someone other than your spouse that’s a conscious choice. There’s a degree of thought that goes into composing a sext, however fleeting, and enough time for you to think, ‘Maybe I shouldn’t do this.’
This issue is wide open for the hypothetical “if the circumstances were reversed” question. It can be largely agreed upon, however, that if you don’t want your spouse to see the texts that you are sending to other people then you’re having an inappropriate “relationship.”
We are all responsible for our own behavior as well as what we decide to put up with from someone else. Certain behaviors are out of bounds in a marriage. You know, like sexting a “friend.” Everyone has to give up something for the warmth and care of a committed and loving partner. It doesn’t mean you get to cheat on them in real life or in virtual life. Anonymous pictures, fantasies and thoughts are okay when contained. Cheating is when there is a real third person.
Everyone should know what is and is not okay with their partner. The most successful couples have a simple rule: if you wouldn’t do it in front of me, don’t do it. That leaves no room for grey areas or arguments.
Individuals have their own definition of what constitutes cheating – which is why you need to spell out, specifically, what counts as infidelity for you when you’re in a monogamous relationship. Ask yourself this ‘What would my partner think, if they could see me right now?” Doing whatever it is they’re doing.
If their partner wouldn’t like it then it’s considered cheating. Even though there’s no physical contact, sexting is still sharing intimate, sexual words or images with someone other than your partner. Whether or not you actually sleep with the person you’re sexting with, your partner is going to be just as hurt as if you actually had consummated the affair. Whatever the act is, if it makes one spouse uncomfortable, unhappy, or feeling betrayed, then it is wrong.
Men are radar-like when it comes to being threatened by other men sexually hitting on their woman. Men know there is nothing platonic about suggestive sex. When he’s messaging something sexual then there’s a problem. He’s emotionally invested in the idea of sleeping with her.
There’s only so much online flirting a woman can take before it’s unforgivable. Women will forgive a lot, but they will never forgive a shady inbox with flirty or explicit messages. You may as well just have sex with them. Because that’s what you’re trying to get, isn’t it? Isn’t the groundwork just as harmful as the deed?
He may say that you had no right going through his phone. And, you had no right going through his phone. There has to be some trust, and some level of respect for one another in a marriage. But, where do you draw the line in your marriage over privacy? What limits do you have when you suspect something is not right? He brought the suspicion on himself by doing something out of routine, such as checking his phone all the time. Hiding things, doing things he shouldn’t, and looking guilty while doing it. Your instincts kicked in, and you know something was not right.
“If you discover your partner is sexting other women online, confront him. If he lies, denies, or blames you for invading his privacy, you can be sure there is more trouble ahead. If he owns up to his misgivings and shows genuine remorse, regret, and begs to get the help, then you’ve got a shot for the future. Once a person is caught sexting, their partner is entitled to ask to see their phone or online messages on a regular basis. Everyone has a right to privacy, but once trust has been broken and the couple wants to work together to reconcile, the cheater will have to make their partner feel comfortable again, which may involve giving them access to the phone that enabled the relationship rift in the first place.” Dr. Fran Walfish, psychotherapist.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Personally I believe any kind of sexual suggestion to another in a text is just as disloyal as physical fling. Since it involves a recipient, it’s a way of being sexually intimate with another person, and that’s cheating.
If I found out my husband was sexting another woman – whether it was subtle innuendos or overtly sexual messages – my marriage would be over. Sexting another woman crosses a sexual and emotional boundary and I’m not sure I could forgive that action. I know I couldn’t.
When I Realised
Even when I realised I could no longer trust you, I still could not keep myself from loving you. Even when I realised you didn’t deserve me, I still felt like I deserved you. Because I had already given so much of me, and invested so much time and energy into “us” that it didn’t seem fair to walk away with nothing.
💔
I Wish I Could
I gave it all and you gave me shit
I wish I could do exactly what you did
I wish I could do exactly what you did
I wish I could hurt you back
Love, what would you do if you couldn’t get me back
You’re the one who’s gonna lose
Something so special, something so real
Tell me boy, how in the fuck would you feel?
If you couldn’t get me back
That’s what I wish that I could do to you
Love, what would you do if you couldn’t get me back
You’re the one who’s gonna lose
Something so special, something so real
Tell me boy, how in the fuck would you feel?
If you couldn’t get me back
That’s what I wish that I could do to you
💔
And I Wonder
I understand feeling as small and insignificantly as humanly possible.
And how it can actually ache in places you didn’t know you had inside you.
And it doesn’t matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or new clothes you get – you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood.
And how in the heck, for that brief moment in time, you could think you were happy.
Broken Trust
I trusted you….
That’s all I want to say.
💔
Hidden Truths
There are no secrets, only hidden truths.
💔
It’s Valentine’s Day
It’s the littlest of things that make women happy. The ten seconds it would have taken you to write “Happy Valentine’s Day, I love you” on Facebook or text me would have totally made up for the fact you forgot your wife again this Valentine’s Day.
💔
Not Maybe
Nothing boils my blood more than a guy making a girl feel crazy for her suspicions when he’s doing exactly what she’s questioning about.
People Change
She used to call him her “life.” So what happen then? Well, her “life” changed.
People change.
Even the devil was an angel once.
💔
I’m Not Perfect
I’m not perfect. When it comes to relationships, I mess up, I fall too hard, I get easily jealous. But there are three things I am proud of being me:
- I do not play
- I give my best
- When I choose you, it’s only you
Side by Side
It makes me happy just being by your side.
♥
And When I Dream
I always think of you before I fall asleep. The words you said, the way you looked. The things we laughed about, the silent moments we shared. And when I dream, I’ll dream of you. Because it’s about you, it’s always about you.
♡
Hand in Hand
Penguins are monogamous, often having one mate for a lifetime. Death of their life partner is about the only circumstance that causes them to search for a new mate.
♥
Love of My Life
I only want to be with you two times…
Now and forever.
♡
Happy 6th Anniversary
Time is much sweeter when I spend it with you.
♥
For Future Reference
This is what to say when I’m a big, teary mess.
♥
A Toast
Here’s to the things left unsaid and the thoughts unexpressed.
♡
Expectations
Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them.
💔
I Love You Because
I love you because every cell of my body responds to your touch, to your look, to the way you move and the way you sound. I love you because something, somewhere, directed me to you. Through the paths we have taken to one another, I have loved you. I’ve played in comfortable places among comfortable people until I had no choice but to leave there to come to you here.
♥
Happy Anniversary
Five years ago today, we became husband and wife. We knew we belonged together. And now, half a decade later, I can say with absolute certainty that the past five years have been the best of my entire life. I don’t tell you this as often as I should, but I love being your wife. In fact, I’m proud to be your wife. You would do anything for me. You put up with me and my shenanigans, day in and day out. And for that, you deserve more than a blog post, you deserve a trophy. Thank you for remaining endlessly patient with me. That might be your best quality. Cheers to the second half of this decade, and many, many more to come. I love you, B. Always have always will.
♥
Marriage
Being married to you is a little bit like that nice cup of coffee every morning. I might have it every day, but I still enjoy it.
♥
Forgive Me
I promised to spend the rest of my life with you. I promised to love, comfort, honor and keep you for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to you so long as we both shall live. I promised. And I promise again.
Forgive me for the times when I haven’t been patient; when I’ve snapped at you or gotten frustrated.
Forgive me for when I haven’t been kind; when my tongue has been quicker and sharper than my head or my heart.
Forgive me for the times when I celebrate my victories over you; when I proudly say “I’m always right” and forget to be humble.
Forgive me for those times when I’ve been rude and please forgive me for the many times when I’ve been selfish; when I have sought love instead of offering it.
And, oh my love, forgive me for those times when I get angry quickly and for the times that I let that anger fester and let the anger grow bigger and bitter.
Finally, forgive me when I don’t spend every last breath protecting the man that you are, when I don’t trust you with all that I have, and for the times that I look to the future with worry instead of with hope. I need your forgiveness for these, and for all the future times. that I have and will fail and break my promise to you.
♥
Live Love Dream
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