The Choices We Make

I left last October. You pushed me away until I felt I had no other choice. I came back because you made me feel scared of the consequences of leaving.

I said back then I’d give it a year. I convinced myself plenty of times that things were getting better, that things were improving, after a magical day or week when you seemed different. But each time, it was only temporary. This cycle continues indefinitely. and this entire situation – the lack of communication, your lack of optimism and negativity, past hurts that haunt me – all of it has left me feeling stressed and teetering on the brink of depression.

It’s not as easy to catch depression as it is to catch a cold, of course — but bit-by-bit, your depression is spreading to me. I cannot – will not – allow myself to sink into that dark abyss.

It took me a year to realise this. There really is only so much that you can help someone if they aren’t at least trying. The choices you make are on you. The way you live is on you. I can only be responsible for myself and my choices.

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