Too Much, Too Little

A relationship fails from the lies and the deceit and the betrayal and the hurt and the pain. There are no excuses, reasons, no ways around it. One person forgets to recognise the effort, the trials, the fighting for one another. You forget that she has put up with all of your faults, your imperfections,  all your ugly-parts-that-nobody-would-ever-accept.

I never wanted to give up— in terms of on you or us. I never wanted to give up because I knew you in ways that you didn’t think I did. I knew your past, your secrets. You knew all of mine. We opened each other up and scrutinized and examined and took what we wanted and ran away with what only we needed.

What you loved more than me hurt me constantly and instead of trying to make you change, I tried to adapt to them and in the process, lost myself and my morals, my priorities, my wants and needs. And in turn, I lost my way. And I’ve realised I allowed myself to put your happiness above my own.

And it sits here, in this room, it takes up so much space and I just watch it day to day wondering if life would have been better. If you would have ever put me above it.

1 Comment

  1. What of his, is bigger than you and looms over you in such a way that you feel minimized? What object in a room could possibly be looked at daily and rise self doubt to your core? I suggest also that you stand in front of a mirror and convince your reflection that you have greater value. I’m certain that the girl in the mirror will be easier to fight for and win, than the ghost you insist on selling yourself out for today.

    Whatever is in that room that you are fixated on and that brings you this pain……go get a big garbage bag and take it to the dump where it can live out its days with the rats


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